In the winter of 2011, I turned 16 and received my first ID card. It felt like a ticket to the adult world. I could stay out past midnight, and Stacey could be with me because I now had proof of age.
I found an old VHS tape of me and my brother’s baptism. Since we no longer owned a VCR, I took it to a store to have it transferred to a CD. Watching the video again, I pointed out to my mom that I was making a strange, almost devilish gesture with my hand. She told me that all newborns do that.
Whenever I went on a date with Stacey, she would ask me to walk her home. She lived in a neighborhood near my high school. It was a somewhat rough area, and her parents preferred that I escort her home to ensure her safety. We would usually wait for the last bus, as she had an 11:30 pm curfew. After long kissing and hugging sessions in front of her building, I’d have to catch the last bus home. Eventually, we started staying out later and later, which meant I had to walk. It was a 35-45 minute walk, depending on how fast I went, but I considered it a sacrifice for her. One night, as we walked toward her apartment, we passed a group of guys who had known her for years. She spoke to them, said something they didn’t like, and one of them called her “a stupid bitch.” I didn’t react at all; I just stood there silently, scared, until we moved on. I wish I could’ve stood up for her.
In April, we went for a run around the peninsula one afternoon. I took her to a trail that ran between the upper and lower coastal roads. As we were running, dusk began to fall, and we were alone on the trail. I became aroused and positioned her on a rock by the path, so she was sitting down, and then I lowered her pants. I pulled her panties down, revealing her wet vulva. I was eager to penetrate her as quickly as possible, so I hurriedly lowered my own pants. As my pants came down, my erect penis was exposed. I looked at her eager face and slowly moved closer to her. I gently inserted my penis into her vagina, and it was the hottest, wettest, and most pleasurable feeling of my life. I thrust a few times, and we both enjoyed it.
Unfortunately, I felt like I was about to ejaculate, so I pulled my penis out of her.
I then asked her to kneel in front of me, and I began to masturbate while she took my penis in her mouth. I ejaculated into her mouth, finally experiencing sweet release. She swallowed my semen and commented that it was “salty.” We got dressed and headed home. Almost immediately, I began to worry that she might be pregnant because I had penetrated her without a condom. I started to panic, wondering if the pre-ejaculate had gotten her pregnant, or if I had ejaculated inside her without realizing it. I regretted my first sexual experience; it felt like a total failure. She reassured me, saying that everything would be fine.
One Sunday in May, probably May 15th, my little cousin from the suburbs had her Holy Communion. My family and I went to my aunt and godfather’s house in the suburbs for the celebratory lunch. Afterwards, my brother, a cousin, a young man, and I went to a local soccer field to play and hang out. On the way home, I got a text from Stacey asking what I was up to. I told her I was at a communion lunch and wasn’t sure when I’d be home. We exchanged a few more texts, and I mentioned that I could head home earlier. I told my parents I was going to leave the Communion celebration early to go to Split and hang out with friends. I left and started walking toward the shore to catch a bus, as bus service to and from the suburbs was limited on Sundays. I walked quickly to the bus stop and finally boarded a bus that took me closer to home. I went to my apartment and texted Stacey to come over.
When she entered the apartment, we immediately started kissing. We went to my room and helped each other undress. We were finally naked in front of each other and I told her to lie down on the bed.
When she lay down, she spread her legs, and her face and body were lustful.
I lay on top of her and kissed her lips and neck. She moaned softly as I squeezed her breasts. I nipped at her nipples like a hungry wolf, licking them, then her whole breasts. I then moved down to a good position to lick her vulva. I started with one long, slow lick from the bottom to her clitoris. She moaned a little louder, and I was thrilled by the taste of her juices. I was thirsty for them and continued to lick her sweet vulva. I inserted two fingers and began moving them as if I were beckoning her, gently teasing her. Her body twitched. I stopped and reached for a condom.
My penis had never been so fully and rigidly erect, but I somehow managed to roll the condom on from top to bottom. As the scent of latex filled the air, I put some saliva on my hand to lubricate my penis. I looked at her young body and her lustful face. I inserted my penis into her vagina, but now, with the condom on, I felt far from climaxing. I began thrusting gently, and we both made sounds of pleasure. I continued for a while longer, and it felt amazing. First, I had sex with her in the missionary position, watching her breasts move with the rhythm. Then I pulled her close and continued in the same position. She moaned and seemed to enjoy it. As I held her close, I kissed her neck and gently pulled her hair. She responded, “Yes, DO THAT!” I got up and turned her onto her stomach. I told her to spread her legs for me, and then I penetrated her from behind. I thrust into her rhythmically, and she started to scream. I loved the sight of my penis going in and out of her vagina as I pressed against her buttocks. I hugged her from behind, reaching for her soft breasts. I then grabbed her shoulders and pressed myself hard against her as I continued. I turned her onto her back and entered her from above. We slowed down the pace, and the sex became more tender and loving. I licked her neck and kissed her lips. I pulled my penis out of her vagina to lick her breasts some more. I licked her latex-flavored vulva, and then I’d had enough. I took off the condom and lay on my back. I told her to take the tip of my penis in her mouth and get ready to swallow my semen. I masturbated and finally ejaculated a large amount into her mouth. I was satisfied, and so was she. We lay naked next to each other and cuddled, discussing our experience and happy with how it went. It was my first time having sex, but not hers.
At school, I asked Barby Jo if I could use his dorm room to spend time with Stacey. He agreed, and one evening, I took her there, and we had a intimate experience together. I kept up my successful rowing career, and one summer afternoon after practice, a guy named Harry, who was a few years older than me, invited me to join his newly formed group. They were focused on recreating the lifestyle of ancient Rome. The aim of our group was to create a performance featuring the marching of the Roman army and gladiator battles. Harry and one of his friends purchased replicas of 1st-century Roman soldier armor, swords, spears, and other equipment. Danny’s father contributed by crafting wooden shields.
Even though Split was established in the early 4th century, we relied on the fact that people’s ideas of Roman soldiers were shaped by Hollywood movies, so we aimed to match their expectations of what a Roman soldier should look like.
My role was to be a gladiator, and I began training with a few of Harry’s peers. One of them was an experienced martial arts expert who had a deep understanding of combat, movement, and how to execute or evade attacks. Together, we worked on creating a choreographed routine that mimicked a gladiator battle. We practiced using wooden swords and makeshift shields. I struggled with coordination, and my movements felt awkward and unnatural.
The following day, I told Danny about my gladiator training, and he asked Harry if he could join us. Harry agreed, so Danny participated in his first gladiator session. It turned out he was much more agile and quick than I was. As a result, I ended up taking on the role of a Roman soldier, marching and forming formations like the famous ‘turtle shape.’ We had to develop a choreographed routine so we could earn money from performances. Our second way of making money was by taking photos with tourists in the center of Split.
Tourism in Split was booming during those years, especially in the summer when visitors from around the world flocked to the city. We would dress in replicas of ancient Roman tunics, sandals, metal armor, helmets, and carry swords, spears, and, of course, a pouch to collect money. Everyone wanted a photo with guys dressed as Roman soldiers, and we capitalized on that. After snapping a picture with us, we’d politely ask for a tip, and most people were happy to oblige. It was my first job and it was so simple. I knew English well and had good communication skills. I was happy that Harry introduced me to his community, and my parents were happy too. I bonded even more with Danny because he was my age in that group, while the others were a few years older.
We rotated in four-hour shifts, and it turned out to be quite profitable for all of us.
On warm summer days, Stacey and I would head to the sea for a swim. We often went to Bačvice beach, swimming out to the buoys that separated the swimming area from the boat zone. While there, I kissed her and began caressing her gently underwater with my fingers. She couldn’t resist and gave in to the sensations. On summer nights, we would go swimming on the peninsula. We’d walk along the shore until we found a secluded little beach. There, we swam naked, and it felt magical. After getting out of the water, we started with some foreplay. I suggested we try the 69 position, with her on top. I pleasured her while she took me into her mouth. I encouraged her to suck gently, and afterward, we shared an intimate and passionate experience.
In the summer of 2011, I was at a mall near my building with Stacey when my father and brother Henry unexpectedly showed up. I introduced them to Stacey, as no one in my family had known about our relationship until then. A few days later, my mom suggested I bring Stacey over to our house, so I did. I introduced her to my family, and while I was occupied with something else, Stacey and my mom had a conversation.
Later, when we were alone, Stacey told me they had talked about my mom’s second pregnancy, which hadn’t gone well. It was a pregnancy that occurred between my birth and my brother’s in 1997. The pregnancy lasted a few weeks, but the embryo didn’t survive. During the winter, I traveled to the island of Brač for a rowing regatta. When we returned to Split, Stacey asked me to meet her at a café. When I saw her, she seemed deeply upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she had experienced a miscarriage.
I felt confused and sad, though not as heartbroken as she was. The event had a profound impact on her.
We moved forward and continued our relationship, including being intimate, as though nothing had changed. Occasionally, she would bring up the topic, and I would do my best to comfort her. During that time, I also met one of her friends from the neighborhood, who happened to be a drug dealer. He became our go-to source whenever we wanted to get weed.
Back then, we were paying $15 for 1/28 oz of weed, and we could manage the cost. One night, we were in a park in the center of Split. We found a shaded bench to hide on, and I rolled a joint. We smoked it and got pretty high. At first, we were laughing and having a good time, but eventually, I started experiencing some unsettling hallucinations. I kept seeing movement out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned to look, no one was there. Eventually, the hallucinations stopped, but they started up again briefly before I managed to shake them off. We headed to the bus, which was running late. At the bus stop, it was just us and another younger couple. Out of nowhere, an unmarked police car pulled up, and two officers stepped out. They were dressed in plain clothes but identified themselves as police and showed their badges to the other couple. I was too high to feel scared, though I was slightly concerned. Luckily for us, the girl from the other couple started arguing with the police. She was an orphan and wasn’t supposed to be out at that hour. They ended up arresting her and taking both her and her boyfriend to the police station. The officers asked me to show my ID, which I did. After checking it, they left. I was extremely fortunate they didn’t search me for drugs, as I still had some weed in my pocket.
The next day, Stacey and I went to a café in a shopping mall near my building. Stacey’s mom texted her, telling her to come home with me. We weren’t sure what to expect but knew we had to go. We took the bus to her place and entered her apartment. It was my first time meeting her parents, and they were both visibly upset. Stacey and I were confused about why they were so angry until her mom took us to her parents’ room.
They had a computer there, and Stacey’s Facebook account was still logged in—she had forgotten to log out. Her mom had read through her messages, including some about buying weed from her friend. Her mom asked me if she should contact my parents, and I said ‘no,’ which made her even angrier. In the end, she didn’t reach out to my parents but punished Stacey. Her father then sent me home.
During the winter months that followed, Stacey and I went on a few more dates. Since we had no place to be intimate and it was too cold outside, the most we could do was get to ‘second base,’ and I would finger her. I loved the lingering scent on my fingers as I headed home afterward.
@Limbo 
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